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After The Wedding – How To Argue With Your New Spouse

Teri — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 03:09:45 +0000

After The Wedding – How To Argue With Your New Spouse

Your wedding ceremony was the celebration of your intention to join your future with that of your fiance, the love of your life. You survived the stress of wedding planning and enjoyed a beautiful and intimate honeymoon.

Now you are home and your life has changed dramatically while both of you adjust to the new meaning of your relationship. Jobs, bills and stresses will take its toll on the dream life you thought being married would provide. You might argue occasionally and by disturbed by that unexpected event in your new life.

One of the great marriage myths you might have believed before you got married was that two people as much in love as you and your spouse are will never argue or be angry with each other. But the healthiest of couples will argue at times and it is not a sign of your relationship breaking down.

If both of you can build a stable sense of trust in knowing that you will disagree with each other and argue at times, then you both will be able to release your feelings without feeling discarded or embarrassed.

You do have to realize, though, that differences of opinion and even loud arguments can be very hurtful if either one of you starts name-calling and painting the other with broad accusations. How you argue is far more important than how many times you argue or even what you argue about.

Following some guidelines will actually preserve your marriage and avoid causing emotional pain to your spouse.

When you argue, stick to the topic and do not escalate the argument by wandering off into other issues and eventually verbally attacking your partner. People commonly say things they regret during a heated argument and, once the damage is done, it is difficult to repair.

Keep your tone and physical stance calm and non-threatening during your argument. Aggressive anger can escalate in a minute and keeping your body loose and calm will reduce that danger. Clenching fists, yelling and stiffly marching around your partner while arguing is definitely threatening. Stay cool.

Some like conflict because it is emotionally stimulating. Do not fall into that trap and start arguments to feel and enjoy the stimulation. If your marriage needs more stimulation, discuss that and together figure out how to spice up your relationship.

During an argument, don’t use the situation as a dump for all the wrongs and misdeeds you can think of. Argue about one thing at a time. Don’t store up hurt feelings and misunderstandings and dump them on your partner when the original argument started about over one thing that could have been easily remedied.

Learn to forgive and forget. Neither one of you is perfect and you both probably have past missteps you might like to forget. Learn to think before you speak and to avoid spewing hurtful accusations at each other. Never, ever start any sentence with, “You always or you never…”

Relationships are fragile during hard times. Arguments can permanently damage any relationship with foolish accusations. Rather than letting an argument escalate beyond all repair, you might agree to disagree. Just because you married each other, it does not mean that you will see eye-to-eye on everything.

Accepting your differences and working out compromises will bring you both closer together.

Technorati Tags: wedding, spouse, wedding ceremony, marriage myths. married life, couples, relationships, Teri Champigny

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The Best Man’s Wedding Toast

Teri — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 17:17:16 +0000

So, you’re expected to make a toast at your best friend’s wedding, but you don’t know what to say. Honoring the big day and the new couple without either embarrassing yourself and them or coming across dry and wooden can be pretty tricky. You’ll want to put some thought into what you’re going to say and do. Let’s take a look at a few ideas that can help you get started.

First, think about who you are going to be toasting. There are a few conventions in formal or traditional weddings you should be aware of. For instance, as the best man, you’ll be expected to toast the bride. You may be permitted to toast others as well, depending on how formal the wedding is, so pay attention to the circumstances and feel of the wedding.

Start by letting everyone know who you are and how you know the couple. Remember that some guests just won’t know who you are. It’s best to make this clear from the start to prevent confusion. Next, you’ll want to show gratitude to the hosts of the wedding, whether it’s the happy couple, their parents or someone else. Thank them for welcoming you to the occasion.

Most wedding toasts also have a bit of an anecdote, including how you met various parties or how they met, stories you want to tell their children some day, and important elements in your friendship. Don’t go for clichés if you can avoid it, and remember to think about the audience. It’s important to cater to the highest common denominator, if there is such a thing, and avoid offending anyone, especially the parents of the bride and groom.

Learn about the cultures involved in a wedding when more than one culture is involved, and avoid inside jokes or adult humor. Nudity, inappropriate behavior, and sex are all topics left out of most toasts, and you probably shouldn’t talk about politics or religion unless you’re really sure of the audience. If you’re not sure the story is appropriate, avoid it. It’s better to be safe than sorry if you’re the best man giving a toast. Another good rule of thumb is to go easy on the alcoholic beverages before you give the toast.

Remember to offer a compliment about the bride and anyone else you’re giving a toast to. Don’t go on and on about how wonderful they are, however. That could end up boring your audience, and no one wants that. Instead, use just a few adjectives to tell the audience what you think is best about him or her. In addition, remember to end your toast on a positive note. A traditional toast quote, a blessing, or good wishes are common choices. Remember to use your head and think in advance, and you’ll come up with a great wedding toast that everyone will appreciate.

Technorati Tags: best man, toasts, wedding, bride and groom, groom, wedding toasts, what to say

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Getting the Groom Involved in the Planning

Teri — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 15:24:15 +0000

Wedding planning isn’t just for the bride; the groom should take some responsibility and have some input in the process too. However, traditionally the arrangements are covered by the bride and her mother. That means that many people don’t know how to get the groom involved. Let’s take a look at a few ways to help him avoid feeling left out of things or run over by your plans.

If you’ve just gotten engaged, you’re going to want to make the announcement. Both of you can create an announcement card to send out by mail or email, or share the responsibility of calling friends and family. Together, make the list of people you’d like to invite to the wedding.

Food is another important portion of your wedding. Your fiancé can help you with the budget, help figure out the catering situation, and maybe come up with a few creative ideas that you haven’t thought of. If one or the other of you is a skilled negotiator, consider delegating that person to work with the vendors to get the best price. Remember, every task is an important one!

You may wish to write your vows together, too. Collaboration can help you come up with the perfect words to say to one another to express your love. Other things you can do together include building decorations for the reception, researching the music and deciding on the DJs, and choosing the videographer or photographer. You’ll want to talk about just what each of you wants out of the wedding.

For many grooms, the wine and other drinks that will be provided at the reception are extremely important. If this is something your guy cares about, or if he loves food, let him handle the food and drink. Resist the urge to micro manage! Each of you has the ability to put together something great without supervision, as long as you’re clear on what needs to be done in advance.

Other things the groom can do to take a little bit of the load off the bride’s shoulders include choosing suits for the wedding, contributing his opinion on colors, theme, and size of the wedding, and choosing the transportation for the big day. He can also handle wedding present registrations and handle mediation with your families if there are problems. He can even talk about the toast with the best man if you’re feeling nervous about it.

It’s a great idea to involve your groom in the wedding planning. Just make sure to include him in the decision making as well as the labor, and relax about his ability to handle things. He can get the job done just as well as you can, and it’ll keep you from feeling quite as stressed and unhappy. If you’ll be married soon, you’re going to be entering a life where you do a lot of things together. Planning your ceremony and reception is a great start.

Technorati Tags: wedding planning, bride, mother of the bride, groom, reception, wedding, ceremony, planning, fiancé

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10 Questions to Ask When Looking for a Wedding Photographer

Teri — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:50:00 +0000

When it comes to preparing for your wedding, you are probably up to your elbows in magazines, paperwork, bills, and glitter. But even though there seems to be a never-ending list of things to do in order to be properly prepared for the big day, you have to make sure that you are not skipping certain details.

Here are 10 questions to ask when checking out wedding photographers. This is not just about making sure that you are spending your money wisely but it is also about making sure you are going to end up with photos you will be able to proudly cherish for the rest of your life.

1. Will he or she be the exact person at your wedding taking your photos?

If he or she cannot guarantee that, you will want to look somewhere else. You want to make sure you are interviewing and reviewing the work of the exact person who will be at your wedding taking photos. The last thing you want is to be surprised on the day of your wedding and end up with photos that are not worth a dime.

2. What styles does he or she specialize in?

Photos are not just photos. Every photographer out there has their own special style or way of doing things that you want to be familiar with. Do you like the photographer’s style? Is it your style? In order to be a happy bride, make sure that you are getting a photographer that is capable of taking the shots you want on your wedding day.

3. What kind or type of camera will be used for your photos?

It is important to make sure that some inexpensive 35mm camera available at any Wal-Mart is not being used. There is nothing wrong with an everyday camera for everyday photos, but your wedding is special. You want high quality photos so make sure that your photographer has the right equipment.

4. Is there a backup plan?

What happens if that camera breaks? Make sure the photographer has a back up plan such as having spare cameras on hand and an assistant who is qualified to work in his or her place should an emergency occur.

5. How large is the photo package and what is the price breakdown for each photo?

By understanding all of the pricing and what you get within each package you will be able to make an educated decision on what you should be going with. Ask questions if you don’t understand. It’s better to not be surprised when the bill and the proofs come in.

6. How long before the proofs are ready?

You will want to know how long it will take for the proofs to be finished for your review.

7. Do they automatically give the negatives/cd or is there an extra charge for this?

Some will give you the negatives free of charge while others will not unless you ask for them and then there is an additional charge.

8. Is he or she covered by liability insurance?

In case something goes wrong or there is an accident, the photographer needs to have liability insurance to cover costs.

9. Can you request specific types of photos to be taken?

This will help to ensure that you are getting exactly what you want. If the photographer seems rigid and uptight about your input, you should look elsewhere.

10. Is there an additional cost for staying longer then scheduled?

If there is a delay or the event simply lasts longer than you expected you probably want the photographer to stay. Is he or she available to stay longer, and do they charge extra for doing so?

Your wedding photographer can be like a magician creating beautiful photos of your very special wedding. Don’t hesitate to ask questions when you’re deciding who to hire – it’s that important.

Technorati Tags: wedding photographers, wedding photography, wedding, photographers, photography, photos, cameras, negatives, cds

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Congratulations – You’re Getting Married

Teri — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:16:11 +0000

Now that you have shared your happy news with family and friends the fun really starts. It’s time to actually start planning your wedding; wedding reception ideas, bridal bouquets, wedding favor ideas and dress ideas will be swimming around in that little loved-up head of yours!

Take a deep breath and relax because the BIG question you’re already asking yourself is… “Where do I start?”

Well, the only way to successfully plan your perfect wedding is to start with your wedding reception ideas. Treat yourself to a few bridal magazines [you've always wanted to buy one and now you can with that rock on your finger!]. Start looking around in haberdashery departments and put together a collection of the materials, styles and colors that appeal to you. These will provide the essential ingredients for your wedding reception ideas board or scrapbook or however you choose to present them.

Your ideas can then spiral off in a multitude of different directions as you start to consider wedding themes, wedding favor ideas, color themes and style themes, etc. It is truly essential to set the tone of your wedding first and then everything else falls in to place. For example, if your bridal gown shop knows you are going for a traditional “ivory and gold” theme, she can then advise you on gowns to suit this theme. In addition, you can then advise your wedding favor supplier that any ideas for wedding favors must fit within this theme.

Wedding favors come in all different styles and design. They range from candle favors, chocolate favors, cd wedding favors, beach themed favors and many more. You can even personalize your favors to make them unique to your guests.

In these early days, there is no need to ask for the groom’s comments – wait until you have narrowed down some ideas before you present them to him. He won’t really respond to “do you like this?” and “what about this?” being thrown at him 50 times a day. It is far better to approach your groom once you have narrowed down groomsmen ideas, color ideas, wedding reception ideas, wedding favor ideas, etc to a minimum. You will also get a more honest answer from him. Don’t forget, even though ideas for wedding favors have completely taken over your life for the moment, he might not share your enthusiasm at this early stage of the preparations.

Throughout your ideas stage, you must not forget your wedding guests. Fundamentally, it is your day, however every girl wants their wedding remembered for its class and elegance. The one way that guests will treasure your wedding memories is by the giving of unique wedding favors. Second to your wedding themes and wedding reception ideas, you must consider wedding favor ideas carefully. Once your beautiful day is over and you’re embarking on married life, you want your guests to look back at their favor boxes and bomboniere and reminisce!

However you plan your wonderful day, and whichever of your original wedding reception ideas and ideas for wedding favors you choose, have a special day and a magical married life thereafter!

Technorati Tags: marriage, married, wedding, wedding reception, bridal magazines, wedding favors, bride, groom, planning

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What To Wear At Your Reception

Teri — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 18:59:47 +0000

You’ve dreamed of the perfect wedding reception for years. You know exactly what you want and you’ve envisioned all the details from what the cake looks like to what the guests are wearing. But how do you make sure the guests wear the attire you’d like them to wear? Well, you could ask them.

Invitations often have a line added that mentions attire, such as “formal attire” or “casual attire”, and wedding invitations are no exception. What follows is a list of different attire labels and their descriptions.

Casual
This means pretty much anything is acceptable without being trashy or inappropriate for public viewing. This might be your choice if you are having an informal backyard barbeque reception.

Dressy Casual
When you want them to dress nicer than they would dress for “everyday”, dressy casual means slacks, button-down shirt and perhaps a blazer for the men, and dressy pants and a nice blouse for the women.

Semi-formal
This attire is definitely more dressy than casual or dressy casual. The men should wear suits and ties whereas the women should wear short dresses.

Informal
Same as semi-formal.

Casual Evening
Really the same as dressy casual except they might wear darker “night time” colors. A nice shirt and slacks on the guys and dressy pants and a pretty blouse for the gals.

Black Tie
Using this label means you want your guests to come formally attired in tuxes and long gowns or very dressy cocktail dresses with elegant bling.

Formal
Same as black tie attire.

Black Tie Optional
This means tuxes or dark suits with ties for the men, and long dress, cocktail dress, or dressy pantsuit for the women. If they don’t wear tuxes and long dresses, they should still be very dressed up.

Cocktail
Cocktail attire calls for short dresses and heels for the ladies and dark suits for the gentlemen.

Festive
This attire comes in to play at times such as Christmas. Females get to wear extra theme-appropriate bling or sparkly blouses or sweaters, and males might add a Santa tie to their suit.

Redneck
Time for people to pull out their cutoffs, tank tops, and flip flops and slap on a couple temporary tattoos!

In case you were wondering, putting the preferred attire on the invitation is not pushy; many people are relieved to know how you would like them to dress. If you decide not to put it on the invitation, people will generally look at the time of day and the wedding reception location for clues.

If it’s an afternoon wedding guys will probably wear sports coats and casual slacks while women wear dresses ranging from informal sun dresses to cocktail dresses.

If it’s an evening wedding expect to see more dark suits on the men and cocktail dresses on the ladies.

Keep in mind that even if you put your desired attire on the invitation it does not guarantee everyone will follow it. Remember that you are merely giving a suggestion and even though there are those who will wear what they want, your wedding and reception will still be the magical event you dreamed of.

Technorati Tags: wedding reception, what to where, attire, dresses, pants, suits, outfits, wedding, reception

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The Beauty of a Beach Wedding Dress

Teri — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:24:12 +0000

Today, modern brides are truly blessed because they have an option not to wear heavy and formal gowns by choosing a beach themed wedding. In this type of wedding, brides don’t have to worry about choosing a formal gown because they can only wear a beach wedding dress.

Why choose a beach wedding dress:

Indeed, in all of the modern concepts of wedding, beach theme is one of the most popular. Because of this popularity, a beach wedding dress has become a common option for this themed wedding because they are easy to choose and to carry.

For most brides, a beach wedding dress is the most suitable wedding dress because it requires lesser time in finding what to wear for the occasion. Since they can save time, brides who prefer wearing a beach wedding dress can have more time to plan and carry out details of the entire ceremony.

Aside from being hassle free, a beach wedding dress is also ideal because it can provide you with utmost comfort during this stressful time. It is also less expensive compared to the traditional wedding gowns out there because a beach wedding dress usually come in simple cuts and designs meant for the location.

Also, before buying a beach wedding dress, make sure that this is designed to cling to the contours of your body. A beach wedding dress should be pared down and slim fit to ensure that you wont be distracted once the wind caught the hem or any part of your dress. Perfect options for a beach wedding dress include straight-line wedding dresses, mermaid cut wedding dresses and those that are princess line cut to ensure that you can move about easily. Aside from portability because of the use of lightweight material, also make sure that the beach wedding dress is easy to transport by avoiding too much detail or accessories on it.

Choosing a beach wedding dress:

Although it might seem easy, there are also major considerations when you choose a beach wedding dress. The first major consideration in choosing a wedding dress should be the climate of the destination. Determining the climate is very important because this can affect your overall comfort during the wedding. Make sure that you have checked with the local weather station branch the usual climate for the area before setting your final wedding date. If the area is rainy or prone to storm, it is best to look for a beach that in a tropical country that the weather would not ruin your special date.

Next consideration would be the average temperature. If the beach where the ceremony will take place is in a tropical country such as in Boracay, Philippines, opt for a beach wedding gown that is made cotton or something that will let the air pass through. Aside from the material used, also choose designs that will let you breathe from the harsh heat of the area. Ideal cuts are sleeveless, tube, strapless, or off-the-shoulder ones because these can give you ultimate comfort despite direct exposure to the beach.

The type of fabric is also a big consideration. If you are choosing a beach wedding dress for your big and special day, make sure that you opt for those that are styles and cuts made from fabrics that are lightweight such as organza or chiffon. This will ensure that you will be comfortable despite the harsh winds and heat of the beach.

Technorati Tags: beach wedding dresses, beach, wedding dresses, wedding, beach wedding, beaches, dresses

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